Ever since I became aware of word expressions and how it is used, I noticed a common phrase that we can always find in songs, poems, literary pieces and other forms of word art. This phrase is “I would die for love” or “I would die for you“.

Whenever I hear or read these lines about dying for love, it makes me laugh. I mocked these lines with disgust because I always take it literally.

Then, something happened to me that made me change how I looked at it… I remember how I poured my heart out with such a sweet surrender.

Looking at my own reflection, I gave up these words with sincerity.

Meanwhile, after that magical moment, I turned to myself within and reflected.

Now, I understand what they meant of dying for the ones they love. I found the answers deep within me.

In this world we commonly inhabit, we were programmed to think that love is something we should work hard for to get. In return, we should only give our love to those who worked hard as we did. I grew up into believing that love has certain standards and conditions. Back then, I remembered that my parents, friends and the people in my circle, they all had standards before they took me as I am. Even I also had my own set of conditions before I welcome anyone into my life. That twisted belief about love made me feel so inferior. As a kid with so little understanding about how the world works, I figured everything out on my own. I wore different masks to hide the truth about myself, just to be loved.

Throughout this journey, I was driven by the desire to love and be loved even up to the point of begging for it. I tried to please everyone to the point of neglecting my own needs. I worked hard and set my own needs aside just to get a taste of it. As the years go by, I felt something deep within me that tells me how sick this reality about love is. How can it be so difficult to have? How can it have so much impact on every aspect of our lives, if we are lack of it?

When the day came that the force of unconditional love finally filled my entire being, I felt that I was at the point of dying.

I eventually died and got born again with a new light in my soul. It all started when I began to love myself.

“Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all.”

-Whitney Houston, Greatest Love of All

I discovered that love really conquers all. Love is not to be sought for, for it is already within us. It is Us. We are made out of love. I don’t understand how we have come to believe that it is so hard to find; that it has to be earned. Oftentimes, the price is too high that it costs us more than our lives.

To love is to kill your self.

I died, buried the old version of myself and gave birth to an authentic ME.

When love gave birth to the new me, this resonated to all living creatures around me that in my eyes I find everything and everyone to be lovable. The walls of conditions and standards that I built for a long time got destroyed. Even when the time that I got tested over and over; drought and dark storms came, love wins every time. I realized that it endures and sees only through the purity and goodness of our hearts. Love never judge our shortcomings, instead see it as an opportunity to love more.

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.”

-Peaceful Warrior

So, if you will ask me again if I am willing to die for love… Hell yeah!!! As a matter of fact, I die for every moment that love grows inside of me. I continually kill those versions of me that no longer serve me. I am now at peace with myself. Without fear, I face the death of my own created ego-based self and wake up with a flame that will light up every soul that I will come across upon.

For once upon a time, I thought and so believed that Death is scary and painful. I tell you that it does. Death is so much painful than you ever imagined. It will torture you up to your core, until you succumb to it and die peacefully. Only when you let go that you will know that death is but a new beginning; a dawn of a new adventure awaiting for you to travel upon.

So die willingly, for love. For it is the only thing that is worth dying and living for. Not only because it will bring forth a new day for you but most especially, to die is the only way to be truly alive.

 

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